Thursday, January 7, 2010


Y2K mayn't've blown up the world, but we lost something the day January 1, 2000 landed on earth. The American planet that day was robbed of that blind yet savory expression that comes after "Aw Muh Gawd, get with it, it's the ___-ies." Tracy Turnblad advised her mother to get out of the house and get "Welcome to the Sixties", and then things got jive in the 70s, and we passed the dutchie in the Eighties, and then we had to wake up and smell the java it was the Nineties, and then....

...Then that whole phrase-identity-with-the-decade thing went poof-gone. I guess at first we were calling it "The New Millenium" and that was very sleek and fun, but no one stuck with it. Or "The Two Thousands"...blaaaah. I realized late last year that we all could (and should) have been calling the decade "The Aughties" as in, "C'mon man, text me while I'm standing next to you, it's the Aughties." But now those years are all used up, now we're into 2010, are these now the "teens"? Like The Teens? Like a rainbow suspender Up With People mob? Yet 10, 11, 12 aren't technically "teen" years, and I see Dr. Phil and all the mom-jeans mob calling those ages "Tweens." That harmoniker is just toooo lame to think about. So I started thinking maybe we wouldn't get another identity decade until the 2020's, but are what are we supposed to say then, just "Oh muh gawd, wake up and smell the Mars colony, you are seau nawn-preaugressive this is the Twentays!!!" Now that just sounds soooo Model T stupid. Honk honk!

Last night my dear hubby was remarking on the ineffienciency of a parking garage that didn't use security cameras. "C'mon, this is the modern age," he said, that they should have cameras for their business. Perhaps that's where we are, stuck in "The Modern Age" for a while? Like...forever?



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