Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Over My Dead Chassis

Your outlook on everything changes the moment you're given an 8 pound soft squishy breathing thing to take into your home, and as time goes by some convictions get stronger, some slough off, and you find ones you never knew existed. I respect Jimmy as a person so if he shows interest in something that squicks me out I may waffle a bit on my opinions, such as...why not let him sit on a smelly santa's lap if he wants to. Buzz Lightyear gun? Hmm, I mean if he's already using sticks as guns and I keep an eye on any possibly developing deviant behavior, mmmyaybe I'd let him keep one. If he really wants to wear pink jelly shoes, they're his. If he wants to risk his neck as a football whiz, that'll be me wincing in the bleachers at every game. I admit, I cross my fingers HARD that I can nip any interest in those stupid dirty cumbersome germmobile grocery cart cars in the bud (I'm thinking of telling him they'll make him gay. Ha! J/k. And, not that there's anything wrong with that.) But a clip from tonight's news generated a recurring low rumble from the bottom of my lungs as I heard "over my dead body" roll out of my mouth in response to something I feel strongly about keeping Jimmy safe from: The School Bus.

I know it's kind of iconic and a rite of passage for the American child to ride a school bus, and I have many years experience of all kinds of public transportation and think a kid's romance with school buses will wear off faster than he can say "OMG I HATE THIS BUS!" But bus bullies and boring bus routes aren't the reason for the My Dead Body rumble over the thought of Jimmy being in one, it's movies like The Sweet Hereafter and the absence of seatbelts and Google News proving that school bus accidents are an alarmingly common occurrence, and pattern CSR calls that I get from school bus drivers on field trips in search of a gas station because they clearly didn't have the foresight to plan before they got a bus full of kids on the interstate, and local news stories from today which confirm my suspicion that I just can't take the risk on trusting school bus driver people. So nope, sorry Jimmy, no school bus for you. I know, I know...I'm just so overbearing.


Anonymous said...

you totally need to read free range kids -- it's so helpful for putting things like this in perspective: here

rlw said...

Hm, I'm aware of Free Range Kids and certainly respect the concept of getting a grip, but I still can't shake the feeling that we'll someday marvel the act of placing our children on big yellow underregulated deathmobiles the same way we now marvel about folks smearing arsenic all over their faces. My gut tells me: stay away!! But...your mileage may vary! =]

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