Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Just wondrin',

Why is it that you primarily only see men on bikes with babies? Sometimes the baby's in a bucket, sometimes it's in a trailer, sometimes worn as a fez, what is up with this? Do female cyclists recoil from baby-biking due to a sense of danger? Then why do mothers let men take bike babies? Why do men HAVE to ride a bike the moment they have a baby in their care? Are they traveling, or are they just exercising, what is up? I have to wipe my stomach off my shoes every time I see one of those vinyl trailers, picturing it breaking free and Bike Dad too busy with podcasts to notice.

Anytime you see a young mother pushing a stroller down a dodgy part of Congress Street, behind her you will see some vicodin addict dragging his ass as though it is 9000 degrees and he is ALWAYS dangling a Pepsi bottle by the neck between his knuckles. We see this outside our window about 600 times per day, and I just don't understand the appeal. "C'mon hunny, let's take a miserable walk again!" from countless families countless times per day. And where are they going?

Why are babies designed to test chokeworthy objects with their mouths? Why does my safety-conscious toddler wrap cords around his neck? Is booger eating truly the inherited trait my hubby insists it is?


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