It's pure vision, baby

I fell a little sick today, but it didn't keep me from getting fitted for contacts for the first time in about 4 years. About that long ago I had some quack optometrist (byproduct of shitty vision insurance I've since dropped) put me in the most useless contacts, they ripped every time I took them out. The eye doctor said that they weren't ripping, that they were designed to not rip but I assured the asshat that they were in fact ripping and to pleeeez put me back into some Bausch and Lombs, and things just broke down after that so I went to glasses. Nowadays I'm back to my old optometrist and today got fitted for some Bausch + Lomb PureVision lenses, I love them!

Aren't they cuuuuuuuuute. I'm hoping to take my free trial pair on the ferry tomorrow, islands await!

Back To School

It's BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!!!

Horns! Confetti! Plaid pleats! Groans! 3-Ring binders!

Flipping through the local news I read that the Outlook on back-to-school shopping good so far. The things you learn as a parent, I suppose I always knew, but I never knew that stores were relying on this income. Jimmy is coming off a 2-week preschool vacation and starts a heavier courseload this week, and I'll tell you how much we've spent on his back to school shopping. $$ZERO!! I suppose that's not unexpected seeing as Jimmy is all of 3 years old, but now that I think of it....I did get him $8.50 worth of juice boxes at Sam's Club. Hmmm...we all know that juice boxes are primarily used for school lunchboxes, there's a whole industry on school-related products. The backpacks, the sandwich bags, the froot snax, the ice packs, the thermoses, all with kids themes. The foldable sporks, the crosswalk STOP signs, the special buses, the schoolyard equipment, all items created for the child who leaves his home every morning, never mind all the trapper keepers and galoshes and crayons and shitty left-handed scissors that kids could use from home but are nimbly accepted as "school supplies." The system is so suffocating, all these "wholesome" items are just part of the big swindle of The Man to continue to keep us giving the rich more of our money and thus keeping us down, and working. Can I tell I watched a Michael Moore movie in my sleep the other day?

On a lighter note, Jimmy sincerely loves school. I mean, it's preschool, there's no actual "courseload" it's a bunch of kids playing around. Without Mommy. But that's ok, because who woulda thunk that having 3 hours to go to Border's by yourself would be....so....divine. Ahem, but really, how many times can you go to Border's every week, the system isn't actually wholly divine for me, there have been a number of bumps in the road (wtf is this blank 'communication notebook' for, you teachers!!) but "at the end of the day" <--I hate that phrase, except in this case, when I tuck Jimmy in at night and I ask him if he's ready to go to school the next day, and the eager eyebrows go up and the cutest little head nods, I know it's a good thing.

BUTTT, since I saved so much on Jimmy's back to school shopping (and thanks to Daddy for snagging a Thomas backpack at Goodwill last spring), I have an extra $25 floating around to fetch me a brand new pair of back-to-school Contact Lenses tomorrow morning!!! I can't wait, I only hope our living room Emmy festivities tonight don't result in the same kind of ocular pain I subjected myself to the last time I went to the eye doctor.

Yes/No

Hello folks, I just found this in my work email's Draft folder, from June 27, 2009. I wonder what kind of mood I was in!

Little Lad’s: Yes
McDonald’s: No
Velveeta Shells and Cheese: Yes

Coupons: Yes
Save-A-Lot: No

Hypocrites: No
“Martyrs”: No
Know-it-Alls: No

Disney/Pixar: Yes
DreamWorks: Yes

Plaid: Yes

Child: Yes
Children: No

Michael Jackson: Yes
Woody Allen: Yes
Mel Gibson: No

Whole Foods: Yes
Target: Yes
Walmart: No

Cats: Yes
Mickey Mouse: Yes
Cats who don’t catch mice in the house: No

Vacuum: No
Lawn Mower: Yes
Mowing Dead Field Mice: No

Cloth Diapers: Yes

Internets: Yes
Telephones: No

Canadian Friends: Yes
Canadian Bloggers: Yes
Canadian Customers: No

Maine: Yes
Vermont: Yes
New Hampshire: No

Self-Preservation: No
Self-Deprecation: Yes

Self-Service: Yes
Self-Service Kiosks: No

College Graduation Ceremonies: Yes
8th Grade Graduation Ceremonies: Yes
Kindergarten Graduation Ceremonies: No

Cheap thrills: Yes
Walking: Yes
Gyms: No

Survival: Yes
Living: No

McMansions: No

In personal cheeseball excitement, tomorrow brings the 2010 Emmy Awards, yaay! Go Tina! And then Monday comes the 2010 Dancing with the Stars Fall Contestants announcement (during the most insanely lurid and shameful and high-calorie scrummy ABC show EVER, Bachelor Pad) however, I have read that Bristol Palin has been cast. Talented Not-Really-Celebrities on DWTS: Yes. Using your kids' tv appearances to promote your own career thru cameo shots from the audience front row of a hit show: NO!

It's Just A Phase

I'm loathe to "blog about blogging" but dangit, presently I'm going through a very "slow" phase, so it hasn't been very home-and-gardeny around here and that lack leaves little worth updating. Hubby is very busy with his stuff, Jimmy is actively lording over the house, and I've been reading fiction as opposed to reading box instructions or bank accounts or about whatever it is that makes my son tick. Looking forward to enjoying fall, to establishing Jimmy's new preschool routine, to watching the sun go down at 5pm...so ready to say adios to summer 2010.

But also deeply lucky to have married the person I did, a spirit who always accepts me without judgment, and always has.

See you soon!

Summer is for movies

This weekend:



And then



In that order, an order I got guilted into!

My Mug

My busy hubby mixed the sound for the band Sly Chi on tonight's episode 207, you can check it out here:



It sounded pretty good! AND he brought home a bonafide 207 mug, just like the one host Rob Caldwell uses.



Holding the mug in my hands stirred up the complicated feelings I have for Rob Caldwell--mostly I think I feel like his mother, the kind who says "Why don't you settle down already! Get maah-reed, have a family!" Poor Rob, what's his deal, why do I always spot him alone and in shorts and socks at the Sexy Shop n' Save?

I like the mug even if Wally tells me the store them in cases, I'm just a little sorry there was no Rob Caldwell signature on it.



Maybe someday, I'll get a signed Rob Caldwell 207 mug...

Weak Week

I bitched about this last year on Facebook, and here I am again. I've had cable for 3 of the past 14 years, I don't want to live without tv but living w/o cable is a-ok, even if it does marginalize us a bit with the watercooler talk. But I do know what it's like to have cable, I'm familiar with the programming for channels like the History Channel, the Food Network, and the Discovery Channel and I know what life is like having these channels in your home at your fingertips, at least circa 2001-2004.

What in the world is up with Shark Week? When I had cable, Shark Week was a week of shows about sharks on the Discovery Channel. It was interesting if you enjoy or are curious about sharks, and it was avoidable if you were anything like me and, say, didn't give a shit. Well, nowadays in the world of social networking (hi Facebook) it is SHARK WEEK!!!!! SHARK WEEK!!!!!! SHARK WEEK!!!!! You cannot live cablelessly and also avoid Shark Week, which was very perplexing to me a year ago. The online enthusiasm for Shark Week led me to believe they'd upped the stakes, that there was something more interactive about the week of sharks, that there were events throughout the nation, that more channels had joined in the festivities, that every cartoon, game show, soap opera, and cop drama got involved and incorporated a shark theme into their programming, sort of a week-long inter-network kumbaya pow-wow over a favorite ocean predator. I thought there must be art contests and community contests and maritime contests and coloring contests with $ to be won, because why else would everyone be so excited about Shark Week? You never see Facebook posts about Martha Stewart's CUPCAKE WEEK!!!! or Jeopardy's TEEN TOURNAMENT WEEK!!!! or the History Channel's HITLER WEEK!!!!!, what gives?

I was anxious to find out how Shark Week had evolved, so I asked Facebook. "What is Shark Week?" I posted, and do you know what the answer was. I was told that Shark Week was a week of shows about sharks on the Discovery Channel.

WTF. What is it about human nature that gets us all to write "SHARK WEEEEEEK!!!" on our Facebook profiles? Some cable exec must be a genius to get all this free advertising, to me this is evidence that the mob mentality exists, people please!!!

Dilly Beans

A pictorial by my hubby.